Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
