I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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