I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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