Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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