thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
