i just google imaged poop.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
