I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
