I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
