My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
