You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
