I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I just put wine in my tea
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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