I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
