don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
