i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
