You made me cry and you don't even care
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
