Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
