his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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