Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
