Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we're making bets on your personal life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
