I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
