I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Holy sore nipples Batman
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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