My brain says no but my pants say off.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
