You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
