And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
