i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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