dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
