I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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