Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
