How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't notice because vodka
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
