Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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