No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
that may or may not have been my penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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