We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
