so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
that may or may not have been my penis.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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