Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
