i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
