shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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