the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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