Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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