I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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