I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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