There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
