Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
