omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
