It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
