bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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