This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
