we're blogging at a bar
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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