R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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