where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He kissed a someone with a penis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
