Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
