Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
