we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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